How to collaborate with unreasonable people.

Do you ever feel like your coworkers are out to get you? Like they're constantly trying to make your life difficult? Well, you're not alone. In fact, this is a common problem in the workplace. And the root of the issue is often a lack of communication. But there is a way to improve cross-functional communication and collaboration. All you need to do is assume that your coworkers aren't being total assholes on purpose.

Now, this may seem like a counterintuitive approach. After all, if your coworkers are constantly trying to make your life difficult, why would you assume that they have good intentions? But here's the thing: when you assume that your coworkers have the best intentions, you're more likely to give them the benefit of the doubt. You're more likely to be understanding when they make a mistake. You're more likely to be willing to work with them to find a solution.

You see, it is very easy to fall into the trap of thinking that people are being pushy or asking for unreasonable things, and truthfully, they might be.

But when it is your job to support these people, you must find a way to work with them. And the easiest way that I have found in my many years is to just assume the other party has the best intentions in their request.

While it is popular to say that "That person is just stupid", "People can be so dumb", "Why would they ask for that?". The truth is if you say those things, you are 100% the asshole. Also, you are wildly unoriginal.

A better approach is to realize that people are generally not that unreasonable with their requests (If this seems unreal to you, then see the previous paragraph). They will however seem unreasonable if they do not understand what they are asking for.

For instance, someone might ask you to get something done by EOD. To them, they may think it is a 20-minute request. They are not as close to the problem as you are, it is then your job to help inform them (without being a dick) that it might take longer.

So how do you start implementing this practice into your life? Well, you start small then scale up quick.

I am not going to sugarcoat this; you are basically going to tell lies to yourself and these lies are going to help you.

A guy cuts you off on your way to work? Instead of going "Fuck that guy", go "I bet he really is running late for something".

Do this with anything that starts to make you angry, tell yourself a plausible lie that makes you more interested in the person.

"Get it done by end of day!", instead of interpreting this as "Fuck this guy" Think about what he might have going on on his side. Maybe his boss yelled at him. Maybe he has no idea what it takes to do your thing. Maybe his wife is about to leave him.

Show compassion and get interested.

That is how you collaborate with tough people.